Passion and Purpose, from civil servant to NLP trainer, coach and author: Joan's Story

February 13th 2017 saw an enthusiastic group of civil servants, NLP practitioners , managers, friends and interested people gather at the beautiful offices of CAOP on the Lange Voorhout, to witness the launch of Joan Hoexum’s book ’”Tomorrow is Today”.

For 20 years a civil servant at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Joan decided in 2015 to change course, inspired by the huge potential of NLP she discovered whilst looking for answers in her life. Now speaker, NLP trainer and coach she has written a book creating a link between the changing role of civil servants and how NLP can help them deal with the many challenges they face.

Bert Jansen spoke first, providing with his 30 years experience, the background of the many changes undergone and underway at Foreign Affairs as the modernisation of Diplomacy is pursued, with the resulting insecurities it provokes.

Sacha Loeven, civil servant and NLP practitioner then took the floor to convey what she saw as some of the main advantages of NLP:

-        That by accepting we all use a different model of the world, it is easier to accept differences

-        That everyone has a positive intention and that looking for it diffuses tension

-        That first rapport is needed before communication can be efficient

-        For better delivery of our message, we need to use the same language as the person we are talking to

-        We need to be aware of limiting beliefs, and question their relevance

-        The power of asking the right questions

Finally it was time for Joan to share her story, her journey from civil servant to NLP expert. As she said, changes are constant and unavoidable. A few years ago she was feeling stuck and frustrated and forced to ask herself some fundamental questions about what she wanted out of life, and what she needed to change. This brought her to NLP. “I understood I had choices” she said, “and NLP offers instruments for choice”. She studied passionately, working at times directly with one of the founders of NLP, Richard Bandler. Through NLP she  learnt to listen better, a vital key for personal development and discovered more efficiency, hence the book.

She connected with local and international NLP practitioners and hopes that sharing their thoughts and her story, will inspire others.

When asked about the meaning of the title she leaves it up to us to interpret as we see best...Be prepared for tomorrow… Do not postpone to tomorrow what you can accomplish today…

Joan then handed over the first sample of her book to Jan Willem Kok, Director of POSG who had accompanied her transition from Foreign Affairs.

Her book is accessible, timeless and inspiring to all.

You can find it at http://www.boekenbestellen.nl/boek/morgen-is-vandaag/9789492575173

Why Pokemon-Goers Kijkduin should be issued with nappies and poop bags

Passionate about Respect

For the past 6 weeks, my current corner of the world, Kijkduin, The Hague has been the frenzied Dutch Capital of Pokemon-Go with literally hundreds of adepts arriving on foot, bike, bus to chase and catch the Pokemons.

This was all fun and exciting and inhabitants in general did not mind the masses walking and cycling about glued to their mobile phones, the municipality had been quick in setting up toilets, protecting the dune areas and on average they were no real disturbance, no noise or alcohol and it was good for the businesses on the main square.
Things are changing and resentment is growing. I work from home so sit quite a bit behind my computer. I have now caught out three adult men (individually) peeing against the neighbouring building. Not one to keep quiet, I politely enquired what they were doing, causing one alarm, one hesitation, and one threatening look.
Seriously? Public toilets have been erected just 200 metres away.
It is a lack of respect. I don't want to see or smell it, nor do I want my kids to see men waving their appendages from their home windows. Though it is not just the men..one neighbour mentionned he had surprised a woman actually pooping at more or less the same area...

One thing I do notice, is that none of these were the teenagers who were the first to play the game. Progressively the age of players seems to have increased...and these are the ones misbehaving...

So dear Pokemon-goers, enjoy your game, enjoy the thrill, but remember you are a human, and just like we teach toddlers, recognise your need to go and find the right place, or carry poop bags and urine bottles so we can enjoy our home in peace.

Hijab unravelled

Whilst reporting recently at a large social event, I came across photographer Danielle Regout. Energetic and charming we struck up a conversation and found living around the world was a common thread (Danielle was born in Latin America, lived in Canada and Poland before moving to the Netherlands where she lived until her recent move to the UK).
Under the banner of "Purpose and Passion in Action" we found another common ground as she had recently turned away from her job to follow her passion and turn a long standing hobby into her job and become a professional photographer.

Her intention here in this beautiful book, as she states in the foreword is " to give the 31 young Muslim women featured, the opportunity to convey what inspires each of them individually to wear the hijbab".
Personally I found it eye opening. We are so quick to generalise in our condemnation of the hijab as a degrading and restrictive custom, however here we witness with these photos of every day life, the pride and comfort these young women feel wearing it.
Each woman is portrayed by a few photos, some black and white, others colour, and a few lines where they explain what the Hijab means to them.
These modern, cosmopolitan women live in the Netherlands, the UK, Belgium and Canada.
They are proud and very attached to their hijab: as fashion statement, as belonging to a religion, community, and family; as way of instigating conversation, as identity, for confidence and to hide shyness, for pride, out of habit, as sign of elegance, effect and statement and as a way to ground themselves.
I found myself moved by their stories and their pictures. Well done Danielle on having taken a controversial theme and shown a less told aspect of it through the words and images of those wearing it.

www.danielleregout.com

Dining in The Hague: the hidden pearl of the Noordeinde: Restaurant Mazie

Through a wonderful set of coincidences I ended up at the promotional evening of restaurant Mazie in a small, charming side-street of the Noordeinde, oozing History and character.

The theme of the evening “when East meets West” was brainchild of cook Takis Panagakis, originating in his half Greek heritage and passion for Japanese cuisine. Mixing Greek and Japanese? I was not so sure… though he did point out a large amount of similarities in ingredients used.

Let alone tasting a large variety of his culinary creations, the evening also involved three demonstrations:

-        Takis’s Greek lentil soup (family recipe)

-        Harbour Club chef prepared sushi

-        Van Rangelrooij demonstrated how knives were made and sharpened and showed footage of their visit to knife makers in Japan

This charming, stylish restaurant, which usually caters to around 36 guests (plus a private dining area of 10-12 upstairs) was set up for the occasion in long tables d’hotes where guests (mix of long standing clients, new ones, friends and family - the event was sold out in one day!) mingled with wonderful spontaneous warmth as we enjoyed, delighted and discussed the many tantalising dishes which came our way, all presented like mini works of art and complemented by delicious Greek wines and Japanese beverages (sake, Japanese Beer and plum wine).

Not one dish lacked in subtlety and originality: this was an exceptional evening for the taste buds.

Dishes included sashimi of langoustines served with ponzu vinaigrette, augotaracho, greek salad sorbet, kyuri cucumber served with freeze dried Japanese tomatoes; and Lamb kleftiko style with smoked aubergine salad with soya sauce, puree of fasalada, retsina, pita bread yakitori and tsatsiki. Just to give you an idea! My mouth is watering as I write.

Enhancing this wonderfully intimate setting and joyful atmosphere was undoubtedly the conviviality of owner Koen Cramer and of chef Takis, everyone was relaxed and open and conversations filled the air, punctuated by outbursts of laughter. 

The three demonstrations brought a learning complement to this most magical of evenings and I left feeling indeed I had discovered a pearl and eager to come back and experience the cuisine on a “normal” night too.

None of us could believe how late it was once we had had our third dessert; time had disappeared as we enjoyed our heart-warming bubble of pleasure. To soften the departure we were presented with a beautiful bag bulging with goodies donated by the sponsors including a jar of the Lentil soup cooked in front of us. I have just enjoyed mine: A divine, hearty soup exploding with taste enhanced by a point of vinegar.

And now I shall book my next meal.

The restaurant opens for lunch on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday (on reservation) and is closed Sunday and Monday.

And because sometimes it is good to share secrets: www.restaurantmazie.nl

Proud to be a woman! Happy International Women's Day!

The other day at table, my 17 year old son commented on how glad he was not to be a woman. Glad not to have to go through childbirth, periods, hair dramas etc..Fair enough. But it made ME realize how much I would have missed not being a woman.

Yes, childbirth was excruciatingly painful but I would never have wanted to miss out on the miracle of birth. My three deliveries will probably remain what I am the most proud of.

Women are able to put differences aside and cooperate for the better good, I saw that so clearly in my years in Africa where inter-ethnic tension would keep  men at each others throats but where the women would come together in order to work more efficiently.

Same here in The Hague and the Women's Business Initiative International or in Dakar and the Dakar Women's Group. We bond and support and motivate, enthuse and learn from each other.

We are as intelligent as men (if not more) but also more emphatic, fun, caring and willing to admit and learn from our mistakes.

We are super women and  multi task juggling family, work and still hope for a little bit of own life with friends and sports. It comes at a cost but still, I find our life is more balanced concerning focus and purpose than most men.

To be able to be glamorous one day and natural the next, to change dramatically with hairstyles and play with make up, to have girlfriends to giggle and cry with,

We can do all of that thanks to the women who came before us.

We have just held our WBII International Womens Day conference. One of the workshops was on Women Leadership and what that is:
"To empower others, connecting, being yourself, enjoying collaboration, bringing out the best in others, interacting, co-creating..so much sharing and joining forces to make the world a better place.
IO had this image of each individual woman with her inner light yearning to make a change in the world. For some a burning desire to make big changes, others, just to bring their own contribution. When all those lights join, what a brighter place we make this world!

Today is International Women's Day:

To all the women we have met and still to share our path, to our mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, mentors, clients, teachers, helpers around us!

To their inner and outer beauty, complete with the struggles,scars and bruises we hide and assimilate as we try to be the best of everything and stay ourselves.

Special thoughts to our sisters in countries where they do not exist in their own rights,  subjugated, mutilated, confined. Where they cant drive or work, go out alone or even to school. I wish them strength and optimism.

To the determination, resilience and boundless love of women.

The UN theme this year is : Empower Women, empower humanity: picture it!"

We may not all be an Angela Merkel, Mother Teresa or a Malala, but by striving to empowering ourselves to sing a true song, we connect to our yearning for the better good and each bring our light to empowering  Humanity
.

I would not want to be anything but a woman,

Flashback: Julie goes Gorilla trecking: every cloud has a silver lining

February 2003: Impossible to leave our three year posting in Uganda without tracking the Gorillas: so here we are.

By 8am Erik-Jan and I are about to set out in our best safari gear to brave hours of tracking in sweltering conditions, slithering in foul smelling swamps, clambering endless gravity-defying slopes in an attempt to find the Gorillas, when disaster strikes. My faithful camera refuses to operate. I must specify this has NEVER happened before. I try and try again, dismantle it, change the batteries, the special low light film but to no avail. I panic, rant, fume, beg, cajole and try very hard to not set off on an already negative note.

A clear bold blue sky, crisp air brimming with energy, a gentle warming sun: the elements are in our favour and dispel my frustration.

First step: a short instruction session. The mountain gorilla, the worlds most endangered ape (only 650 then left ) are only found in small portions of protected afromontane forests in northwest Rwanda, eastern Congo and southwest Uganda. Here at Bwindi there are three groups receiving each day a maximum of 6 visitors for a period of one hour. All precautions are taken to protect them from their biggest threat: human borne disease.

8:30: we follow our guide who is in radio contact with the trackers ahead of us. We are sandwiched between three soldiers in the front and three in the rear, armed, not against the Gorillas but against possible encounters with Interahamwe militia. Bwindi was better remembered in 1999 for the tourists abducted and killed than for its ecotourism.

The forest, dazzling in its fluorescent greenery is bursting with life at every level. We clamber enthusiastically up hillsides aided by lianas, surrounded by monkeys and birds chattering gaily, and somewhere in there serval cats and forest elephants. The air is full of the freshness of leaves, the slightly musty smell of swamps and the musky scent of Africa.

A sudden static crackle and we are all attention: the trackers have found them! No more eating, drinking, sneezing, coughing; talking is limited to whispers. We abandon bags and walking sticks with the army and follow our guide, all nerves on edge.

            “Thack, thack” the machete frays us a way through the dense foliage. My heart is pounding so hard I feel quite nauseous. The guide stops. We approach. I can barely breathe...and there they are. A mother peacefully breast- feeding her three month old baby: the most beautiful sight in the world. Oblivious to our presence she conscientiously strips leaves with her teeth from the branch she holds down, a bundle of soft grey fur and two sparkling eyes clinging on. We are so close we can hear her chewing.

            But the magic is suddenly interrupted by a commanding parting of the undergrowth. My heart skips a beat. It’s the Silverback, the alpha male. Two hundred kilos of sheer power and nobility. He is magnificent. As if on command a shaft of sunlight pierces the thick forest right above him showering his glossy black fur with light. His incredibly broad back, rippling with muscles, shimmers silver. He is 29 years old, 7 meters away and with one powerful swipe of his bulging forearm he could rip my head off. But he doesn’t. He looks up. He looks straight at me. Through me. As if in that split second he absorbs all of who I am, who I was and who I will become. I am spell-bound.

Two females keep a watchful eye over three juveniles as they prance around, climbing  their mother’s backs, which they bear with indulgence, amused and sometimes irritated like any mother would be. An adolescent male rests to the side.

            For one unforgettable hour we follow this family, keeping an average distance of seven meters. When they settle, we crouch down and watch, and I am overwhelmed by how privileged we are to be allowed a glimpse of their life. It feels almost voyeuristic prying on such an intimate family scene but they seem to absorb us as a rightful part of their environment.

I can not believe now that a few hours ago I felt all was ruined as I had no camera. It enabled me to fully feel the privilege of the moment. No focusing and clicking and experiencing through a lense but directly and so much more powerfully. I have no photos to show but that experience is more ingrained in my memory than any photo could have done.

What the army, trackers and porter who had stayed aside had not realized was that we had walked a full circle. Our hour is just about up when we hear a terrific, blood curdling roar followed by human squeals. The Silverback had encountered the other half of our party on his road, and whereas he is used to having one group with him for an hour a day, he did not expect two, especially not in his path. So he charged, the guards scattered and thankfully the Silverback didn't follow suit, he just wanted them out of his way!

And so, on a high adrenaline note, ended our unforgettable visit to the Gorillas.

Some things just happen for a reason and what a silver lining that cloud turned out to have….

Introduction

Daunting!!!

Once upon a time... I wanted to write a book, but am finding it overwelming wheras a blog is a good start.

My idea is to try and be sane (notice I do not say "remain"sane!) by downloading thoughts and emotions, sometimes light, sometimes deeper and involve my wonderful network of friends in sharing thoughts and tips and inspiration- or maybe just a laugh- as we all follow our seperate ways through the sometimes confusing path of life. I hope you will join me.

Recap: My name is Julie Kennedy, I am an expat without a pat. British brought up in France I am currently in Holland and purposefully seperating (otherwise known as conscious uncoupling) from my lovely Dutch husband of 20 years and Father of my three children. So a time of reflection... 

Is it midlife? Most make it sound as if this is some silly frivolous infliction, I would say it is the moment you take a clear look at your life. Are you where you want to be? Is OK good enough? And time to decide that if it is not, now is the time. And I did.

A long tortuous road of hesitations and guilt from which I have emerged authentic and free with all the financial and location issues you can imagine.

For today I am gathering followers, so join me,  comment on my weekly post and let us all at our various ages, nationalities, locations and personal circumstances bond over the web and share a moment of life together.